Following a divorce, the majority of people find themselves in an overwhelming sea of emotions. If you were a wife or a husband for a long period of time, your identity is likely wrapped up in who you are in that role. However, following a divorce, most people need some time to attempt to reinvent themselves and discover how they exist in the world outside of that previous role. The following are some ways that you can reinvent yourself and discover an even better version of yourself following your divorce.
Mourn Who You Were
The truth is that your marriage died. For whatever reason, it no longer exists. Face that truth head-on and take some time to mourn the future you thought you would have. There are several stages of grief, and they are no different for facing the aftermath of a divorce.
Give yourself time and grace during this period to come to peace with where you are now. Make sure that this process involves letting go of anger, bitterness and resentment. Those emotions are only self-destructive. To become something positive and new, you must move through those feelings and get to the other side. Oftentimes, working with a counselor or pastor can help you through this process.
Spend Time Alone
You may want to run out and distract yourself with gatherings, dates, parties, and people. These distractions simply mask and place a band-aid over the work that needs to be done. In order to truly reinvent yourself after a divorce, you need to spend time alone. Figure out who you are in your home, alone. Take time to think, read, and just meditate on who you were, who you want to become, and how you want to get there. This truly can be a fresh start for you. But in order to know where you want to be, you must stop and figure out what direction you want to go.
After mourning and spending time alone, the next step is to set some goals. Do you want to travel? Learn something new? Find a new career? Volunteer? Get healthier? Read more? Grow in your spiritual life? Find a new set of friends? Save money? No matter what your goal is, you must figure out what it is before you can go after it. With a fresh sense of purpose, you can begin to start understanding who you truly are after a divorce. Take this time to fully embrace a new role and how you fit in with your family and the world. Spend time with different people in different places. This is truly your opportunity to redefine yourself into who you want to be.
Contact a Family Law Attorney
If you are considering a divorce, or need assistance following a divorce regarding about changing child support or child custody agreements, contact the family law attorneys at Judy Ford, Attorney at Law at 916-619-3407 or online today for a free consultation, and to help you ensure that your rights are always protected.